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colbymckenzie
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Name: Colby
Country: United States
State: Texas
Gender: Female
Interests: reading, writing, teaching, praying, listening to music (live and otherwise), i wish i could go to movies more, i used to swim and run, but now i mother! i always notice the moon, i hug and laugh, and i absolutely love my boys.
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/21/2003
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| 5:30 feed Landon #1 wash bottles 6:15 try to go back to bed 7:00 check on Landon / shower open blinds 7:30 prepare bags for the day make Cameron’s breakfast and lunch for day 8:00 wake up Cameron start first load of laundry 8:30 start Cameron’s breakfast make Warren’s lunch (try to do more) clean up from lunch and breakfast 9:00 change Landon feed Landon #2 play with Cameron 9:45 load car and boys 10:00 go to wherever… 12:00 feed Landon #3 feed Cameron 1:00 put Cameron down for nap clean out car clean kitchen from lunch laundry, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, etc. make bed and pick up bathroom check email, work on Kelly’s care calendar, baby books, photos, pay bills prepare bags for afternoon 2:30 feed Landon #4 prepare afternoon snack 3:00 wake up Cameron / snack pick up kitchen from snack load car and boys for short pm trip (not every day) 5:30 feed Landon #5 pick up house from day start dinner play with Cameron or keep busy while cooking 6:00 eat dinner kiss Daddy (if lucky) 7:00 leave boys in bathroom with Daddy clean up kitchen / load dishwasher in peace close blinds take jammies to bathroom prepare boy’s rooms for bed prepare coffee for next day finish bath with Daddy 8:00 feed Landon #6 wash bottles wipe down kitchen brain-out on TV 10:00 Landon #7 with Daddy go to bed (if lucky) | | |
| Wow wow wow!!! I have had such an urge to write lately, but is much harder to do with two kids! I feel that I am in the middle of something very large that God is doing. He is giving me huge bites and sitting there, patiently waiting with a spoon full of more meat, waiting for me to chew and swallow what I already have in my mouth. I don’t feel overwhelmed, but I def need to write it down or organize everything I am seeing, so that it doesn’t get lost. Growing older and becoming a mother is so wonderful. I just turned on Joyce Meyer for a mo while I was feeding Landon his bottle, and she was saying how for years she tried to be everything for everyone – who and what each person needed. She even used the word chameleon. Me. I know I have been here before, but this time I feel like I am ready to step out on some firmer ground. As chaplain of the Mom 2 Mom group at our church, I feel like I have put on a tiny bit of spiritual responsibility, even if no one else sees it that way. And doing this Beth Moore bible study on the Holy Spirit (there is an ENTIRE entry right there) has started my spiritual cogs turning as well. I feel sooo much more comfortable in my skin, in who I really am. I am a blood bough child of Christ. That is just what it will always come down to and who I will always want to be. I do have issues with impressing people, and I am a chameleon. But I don’t want to be. I want to be free from worrying about what other people think. God has given me Mathew 6:33, and I am seeing it in a completely new light. Revelation! Thank you Holy Spirit. Seek FIRST the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added. Who should I seek to “impress”? GOD! Search after all the attributes of his kingdom, whatever that may be for that day. And what will be added to me? Well, whatever He knows that I need, as in the v prior to 33. And so it goes. Last night I went out with some mom/girlfriends that are not believers. We at Mexican and drank margaritas. I had two. It was fun, I was loud and chatty and dumb. At wished there were things I hadn’t said or done or whatever. But mostly I don’t think I was me, and that is why I feel at times that slight yuck after spending time with certain people. I am praying that God be in control of my friendships and that he shape me to be who he wants be to be – I am inviting him in to do that – then I go do what I want. I dress myself up to match and smile pretty and am cute and say all the right things that I know to say and drink drinks and then feel the slight yuck. Not the end of the world, but not my answer to prayer. And this morning I am so glad for that slight yuck and for seeing it for what it is and for feeling like maybe I am growing up a little bit. I am seeing where I want to go and enjoying…who I am! I don’t think I am ready for another bite, but my Daddy is patiently waiting. I am chewing. This writing is helping, and it feels sooooo good. | | |
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http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20081023/ts_afp/britainscienceresearch;_ylt=ArGUO4eeLNeBgWRjuBh_xl2s0NUE
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| I love love love the rain. I really think I could live in a wetter, cooler place and be happy. Plus I just came from the pages of Twilight, so this weather is completely appropriate and absorbing.
There was a line in the book I just read where the main character, Bella, said that she liked sitting with Amber because she was easy to be with. She had a quiet way about her. I'm paraphrasing, but I know exactly what she is talking about. And I wish I was that way. I've always wanted to be more like Melanie in Gone with the Wind. But when I am around others, it seems almost impossible for me to be quiet. I whirl like the dervish that Scarlett is. Not that I am anywhere as glamorous or beautiful as Scarlett, or the Scarletts, of the world. But I can't let myself go unnoticed or unspoken.
It always leaves me wishing I weren't . Why do I CARE so much what K and M think of me? So high school. I am 33! I should be way past that. I have a great life and an awesome family and a husband that thinks I am the bees knees and wants only to spend every free moment with me. But I seem lately to be stuck in this mini self-perpetuated popularity contest of stay at home moms. It is dumb and frustrating and want to just decide my way out of it. So I am. Right now. I choose for it not to matter! There. I will NOT work at it any more. I will just let it go and see what unfolds. I will lay my friends at God's feet and let me direct me to those that I invest in. For real. If that means that I go and do what I want with my boys by myself, then ok. That isn't a bad thing, anyway. Why would I think that isn't acceptable? Why do I think I have to make social plans with other moms just to go do something with my boys? Two boys are easier to manage slowly, on my own, anyway. I why do I want M and K?
Lord, I don't think I can just choose my way out. But I do want to give you control here. Search my heart, and show me what the deal is. If I put you first and take it slow and let you be with me even when I'm with others, I think I will see results. I want to put you first, and invest in you, not two moms that I have deigned to be top of The Woodlands Moms Social Pyramid.
Clarification: MandK and both very lovely, lively, fun people. I like being with them. They just spin me around and cause me to not be still. The "blame" rests on me. I need to be still. I need to stay me when with them, and maybe not seek them out so much? Again, I think I am the only adult mother of two that deals with these sophmorish dilemmas.
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Wow wow wow!!! I have had such an urge to write lately, but
is much harder to do with two kids! Maybe I will clean up xanga and paste this in there later.
I feel that I am in the middle of something
very large that God is doing. He is giving me huge bites and sitting there,
patiently waiting with a spoon full of more meat, waiting for me to chew and
swallow what I already have in my mouth. I don’t feel overwhelmed, but I def
need to write it down or organize everything I am seeing, so that it doesn’t
get lost.
Growing older and becoming a mother is so wonderful. I just
turned on Joyce Meyer for a mo while I was feeding Landon his bottle, and she
was saying how for years she tried to be everything for everyone – who and what
each person needed. She even used the word chameleon. Me. I know I have been
here before, but this time I feel like I am ready to step out on some firmer
ground.
As chaplain of the Mom 2 Mom group at our church, I feel
like I have put on a tiny bit of spiritual responsibility, even if no one else
sees it that way. And doing this Beth Moore bible study on the Holy Spirit
(there is an ENTIRE entry right there) has started my spiritual cogs turning as
well. I feel sooo much more comfortable in my skin, in who I really am. I am a
blood bough child of Christ. That is just what it will always come down to and
who I will always want to be. I do have issues with impressing people, and I am
a chameleon. But I don’t want to be. I want to be free from worrying about what
other people think. God has given me Mathew 6:33, and I am seeing it in a
completely new light. Revelation! Thank you Holy Spirit. Seek FIRST the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added.
Who should I seek to “impress”? GOD! Search after all the attributes of his
kingdom, whatever that may be for that day. And what will be added to me? Well,
whatever He knows that I need, as in the v prior to 33.
And so it goes.
Last night I went out with some mom/girlfriends that are not
believers. We at Mexican and drank margaritas. I had two. It was fun, I was
loud and chatty and dumb. At wished there were things I hadn’t said or done or
whatever. But mostly I don’t think I was me, and that is why I feel at times
that slight yuck after spending time with certain people. I am praying that God
be in control of my friendships and that he shape me to be who he wants be to
be – I am inviting him in to do that – then I go do what I want. I dress myself
up to match and smile pretty and am cute and say all the right things that I
know to say and drink drinks and then feel the slight yuck. Not the end of the
world, but not my answer to prayer.
And this morning I am so glad for that slight yuck and for
seeing it for what it is and for feeling like maybe I am growing up a little
bit. I am seeing where I want to go and enjoying…who I am! I don’t think I am
ready for another bite, but my Daddy is patiently waiting.
I am chewing. This writing is helping, and it feels sooooo
good.
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